Happy Birthday

Have you ever heard the term “inspiration porn’? It’s a term we in the “disabled community” (or exceptional people) use to describe stories of disabled individuals overcoming great odds or somehow becoming magically cured or successful in spite of their disabilities. And long ago, I used to hang all my hopes on inspiration porn. My firstborn baby boy, Aaron, was born eighteen years ago today. He was diagnosed with autism some four years after that. And he has never been cured. He has never been “normal” or “typical” or, frankly, even all that easy to spend time with. Aaron’s personality takes work. And yes, he can do some amazing things, but you know what? Those amazing things he can do are not in spite of his disabilities, but because of them. So what I’ve learned from raising this gift of a child is that diversity and individuality are worthy of celebration in and of themselves. It’s not the overcoming and succeeding we should cheer, it’s the ability of an individual to be authentically and truly himself and get by on a day to day basis in a world that doesn’t want to know about him unless he’s playing that sonata, or making that field goal, or winning that Nobel prize. Happy birthday, Aaron! Your mom loves you just exactly the way you are.