I started 2016 pretty damned consumed with myself. Not selfish, per se, but I was fighting personal demons, struggling with breaking bad habits, trying to come to terms with difficult truths, and resolving to put to bed certain unresolved issues that had been haunting me for, let’s face it, years. I made a pretty big announcement here on FB that in 2016 I intended to love myself unconditionally, and I tried like hell to do that, but of course, of all the people one could love unconditionally, the hardest of all is oneself.
Then, in 2016, a lot happened that had nothing at all to do with me. I became consumed in things outside myself, in losses of beloved icons, in the struggle of marginalized people, in an election cycle that was physically painful to watch unfold, and in the result of that election which, I’m sorry, but I’m unlikely to ever get over, because it means so much more to me than good guys versus bad guys, because it means the world is divided in ways that terrify me. And then my mom got sick; I mean really sick. And nothing was about me anymore. I’m sort of amused now that I ever thought it was.
On a personal level, I conquered many of those demons. I completed several uncompleted projects. I accepted those difficult truths and I accepted myself–my flawed, imperfect, beautiful self–for who I am. 2016 was a personal revelation of sorts. Not only am I far from perfect, but I’m perfectly okay with that. (Hey, that sounds a lot like unconditional love, doesn’t it?)
Now, here’s the hard part. Spreading that love around. As hard as it may be to love oneself, loving one’s neighbor is often wholly conditional. I know a lot of really wonderful people who are really easy to love (present company included, obviously), but that doesn’t make the world an easy-to-love place.
So if 2016 was my year to love myself unconditionally, 2017 is the year I plan to SHARE LOVE, SHOW LOVE, and BE LOVE. Will I still fight for women’s rights, LGBT rights, the rights of the disabled and people of color? Bet your ass. (That’s part of the LOVE thing, after all) Will I be sometimes brazen and outspoken, sometimes withdrawn and introverted? Hell yeah; that’s me (and I LOVE me). But with everything I do, with everything I am, with everything I’ve gained and lost and stand to gain and stand to lose, I plan to LOVE.
I believe that one day we all come to accept that LOVE is not so easily definable, but it is indeed EVERYTHING. In 2017, I resolve to practice real LOVE. For me, for you, for animals, for every last living being, for nature… for whatever God is. And I wish the same for you.
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